WHEN KIM finished with her boyfriend of five years she was left with over £4,000 worth of debt to pay back.
The couple had moved in together after accepting places at the same university and relished the chance to live together.
“At first we found it exciting but soon started to struggle with the responsibilities of bills and shopping,” says Kim.
Her boyfriend Tom was obsessed with gadgets and ran up huge bills on video games and nights out.
“Money was tight for both of us but my boyfriend spent a lot of money on himself. He ran out of money and started to borrow from me.”
Kim, who is still paying back to the debt now, couldn’t afford money for food so decided to take out a credit card.
But Tom continued to ask for money. “I couldn’t refuse,” says Kim. “When someone comes to you saying, ‘I can’t afford to eat, I can’t afford to pay the rent’, you can’t just say, ‘Well you’ve got to starve. You’ve got to leave the flat.’”
“Even though he was financially dependent on me, I felt more dependent on him. I was too scared to leave him because I thought I wouldn’t be able to afford to live.”
But when Kim finally did leave Tom, he walked away free – leaving her with £4,000 of debt which she is still paying off.
“I realise now that he was manipulating me. It really did nothing for my confidence. But I have slowly been able to build it back up.”
Kim has since began volunteering for the YWCA as a web-coordinator and is keen to help women in similar situations to herself.
“Volunteering gave me the chance to learn new skills and to boost my confidence. I feel so much more positive about myself. Making a website about financial abuse helped me to learn more about managing my own finances as well as helping others.”
Posted on September 7, 2010